idk how to actually start at all. how to even.. even express how my thoughts changed overnight.
it has been long since i actually feeeel so much like crying while on the phone with someone super important to me.. and how, i actually am not able to sort out my thoughts well.

... i always thought this world is that simpe.
either black or white. noooooooo i'm wrong. i'm convinced that my mentality is only of a 17yr old alr. i thought by jumping into the working society has turned me into a more mature gal. hell no.

i'm angry with the stupidity of others.
i'm angry with the immature actions of others.
... i'm angry with myself for not asking and pestering.

i was that angry last night. and that emotional.
so much that i wish someone was there to just let me say everything out w/o any worries and so.. that i could just cry like a small little gal who's confused with how this world goes abt..

CAN SOMEONE JUST LIST OUT ALL THE RULES OF "HOW TO SURVIVE IN THIS BIG BIG WORLD" to me?

even right now, i'm thinking alot. alot.
..... i'm afraid actually and feeling rather upset with how everything turns out. everyone is at fault, certainly. but everyone's just as irresponsible?

or who is willing to just come forward without being asked to?
... idk anything much except, for as much as i curse ppl and gloat over others' plight. i would never want to see anyone coming into any harm/danger.

ytd i burst out scolding and shouting not because of anything but worry.
yet.. are YOU even treating that seriously? i hate all the "aiya nth one la" from YOU.

because we're friends, thats why i cared so much...
nth else, nth less. take it or leave it.

DO YOU GET ME? damn it.